Upset couple in fight at home

Why Does He Keep You Around If He Isn’t Looking for A Relationship?

Your question, “If he doesn’t desire a relationship, then

why does he keep me around?”


Even if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, a guy might keep you around for a variety of reasons.

Here are 5 of the most common:

1. He’s lonely.

Young African man in furcoat standing close to bars

Being attracted to a couple is a natural human desire. For many of us, being alone is not a pleasant experience. As a result, if a man tells you that he doesn’t want to date you, he may be keeping you around because you make him feel less lonely.

Young casual man sitting on stairs alone on street

If he knows you are there for him whenever he needs you, why would he prefer to be alone? He enjoys spending time with you, after all, so why not?

A man on a hike sits by the fire and warms himself.

Therefore, even if he isn’t 100% into you, the reason your guy keeps you around might not be because he wants you specifically but rather because he doesn’t want to be by himself.

2. He is insecure.

A man who claims he doesn’t want a relationship with you yet continues to hang out with you is probably insecure.

A man who keeps you close without proposing a relationship can be a man who is uneasy about his position in society. He can feel much more unwelcome and insecure if he’s single.

Intimidating young man with scarf covering face

He stays because he finds it intimidating to try to find someone else to date. Even if it’s at your expense, the knowledge that you are interested in him makes him feel better about himself.

Portrait of slim handsome man scratching his neck and looking at camera feeling unconfident

Is your man unconfident? If so, that may be a major factor in why he won’t let you go, even if he isn’t ready to give you his all either.

3. He likes sleeping with you.

Passionate couple is having sex in a bedroom. Portrait of passion, pleasure, sex, relationship

When a man claims he doesn’t want to date you yet keeps you around, he may be doing so solely for sex.

4. He’s still with you out of habit.

The habits that relationships foster in us are an intriguing feature of relationships. Habits are the routine activities you and your partner engage in.

Lovely couple at the movie theatre

Maybe it’s watching Netflix on a Wednesday night or making pancakes on a Saturday morning -whatever you enjoy doing with your partner on a regular basis or as a type of ritual.

Smiling Scandinavian Couple Standing At Beach Against Sky

Those times and places become vacant when you aren’t together, and they could be challenging to replace.

African American couple traveling by bus together.

If your guy says he wants to hang out with you but isn’t interested in a relationship, it’s probably because he has routines with you that he doesn’t want to give up.

5. He wants to keep his options open.

Many men keep their options open by claiming they don’t want to be in a relationship but aren’t ready to let you go.

two businessmen outdoor using technology

They may be aware that they don’t (and probably won’t) want to date you, but they still enjoy spending time with you enough to leave their choices open in case no ideal match appears.

Imagine if your guy meets someone else and you find out. When you call him on it, he knows he can say, ‘But we aren’t in a relationship, so …’

He may move on guilt-free because this is not only true, but he has previously admitted it to you in the past. If you aren’t in a relationship, he believes he has done nothing wrong and that it will be easy to push you away when he feels like it.


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