How to join the Illuminati?

How to join the illuminati?

Be From an Old Money Family

Money is the key requirement for joining the Illuminati, and many of the Cabal’s most powerful families also happen to be among its wealthiest.

Get Rich in Business

confident business colleagues using laptop during business meeting in cafe

They will come hunting for you even if you weren’t born rich; if you make enough money on your own, believe me they will come for you.

Be Male

To rise to the highest levels of the Illuminati, you pretty much have to be a dude. An old, white dude, at that.

Become a Famous Pop Star

You might quickly join the Illuminati if you download the most recent version of Auto Tune, put on some makeup, and hire a Swedish songwriting team.

Or be a Famous Rapper

Rappers are obsessed with the Illuminati, and in turn, the Illuminati are said to be especially eager to add rappers as members. They’ve long (allegedly) had their hooks into Jay-Z, Kanye, Dr. Dre, and others. Could you be next?

Become a Famous Actor

Every major Hollywood star, from Tom Cruise to Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie, and everyone in between, is alleged to be a member of the Cabal.

Be Elected President of the United States

Every president, from Washington through to Obama, has been alleged to either be in the Cabal or acting as a puppet of the Cabal.

Or Even Just Run for President

The fact is that in order to get to the position where the Cabal elevates you to the presidency, you have to already be a pretty big wheel.

Work for the Federal Government

Virtually every government agency, including the CIA, FBI, FEMA, the CDC, DOD, IRS, and NASA, all have heavy Illuminati penetration.

Work in the Medical Establishment

doctor helping to wear surgical uniform for surgeon

Doctor? Nurse? Medical researcher? Pharmaceutical sales rep? It’s all good, you too can join the Illuminati! 

Work in the Financial Industry

The Cabal controls massive assets around the world, so if you want to get in on that, go work for a bank, a hedge fund, a finance company, or pretty much anyone who handles money.

Or Work in Any High-Tech Industry, really.

If you go far enough, you could be the next Bill Gates – himself thought to be a high-ranking Illuminatus.

Be Jewish

Judaism religious jewish holiday matza on passover

It’s alleged that the very heart of the Illuminati consists of ancient Jewish banking clans who meet in secret every year and decide how the world will be run. Some Illuminati watchers see every Jewish person as a member of the Cabal, influencing all decisions everywhere. They also see non-Jewish people as Jewish people in hiding. It can get a little confusing.

Be Catholic

The Catholic Church is alleged to have enormous power in the Illuminati through its rituals and secret societies. It’s thought that the Pope himself is the go-between for the Cabal and Satan.

Or skip the Middleman and Worship Satan.

Female person holds skull in hands, magic ritual

Find a Church of Satan meeting, a blood ritual, or a human sacrifice and volunteer to help if you wish to join the Illuminati.

The Illuminati is intensely secretive. Nobody knows who truly a member is, how it works, who really leads it or even if it really exists. (It does. Allegedly.)


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